Sunday, December 02, 2007

Happy Sunday, everyone!
Mum Kate here. I'm having a bit of a problem with the kitties and I'm hoping someone in the Blogosphere can help.
Miss Lydia is settling down fairly well. I made the mistake of trying to pick her up and she scrabbled off. She's now a little skittish again. It's my fault, but I couldn't resist the soft fluffy fur... you know how it is.... I'm going nuts because I want to cuddle my girl!
The problem is that Toby, while not actually physically attacking her, has become the resident " Intimidator". He lounges around the living room, keeping her from the food bowls and won't let her near our bedroom. We already have a separate litterbox in the living room for her, but I really don't know what else to do. Our apartment is tiny, so there isn't a lot of ability to separate them and I want them to get used to each other anyhow. After a while, he saunters off to the bedroom to sleep and she is able to eat. She doesn't hide now from him and he generally ignores her, just throws his weight around.
I've had cats all my life and I know from experience that I need to be patient and that most cats will learn to tolerate (if not like) each other. She is lively and playful, so I'm inclined to think I just need to be more patient.
I would appreciate any comments, suggestions, feedback and bearer bonds.
Thanks in advance.


The Meowers from Missouri said...

ummmmm . . . yeah, patience. lots of patience. as long as he's not attacking and damaging her, that's prolly all it'll take.

xing can tolerate nitro's presence as long as there's a "bundling board" (in the case of that picture, my legs) between them;-) and come to think of it, she will even lick from the same people plate (if offered) while nitro's on the other side of it--and he CONSTANTLY jacks her up, rushing and scaring her, bein' all he-man, chest-beating gorilla for no reason. she'll usually hiss just looking at him in case he's THINKING of bothering her. so they find their own ways of coping, depending on the circumstances. food is a powerful motivator!

peeyes: that was ed's pink nose. xing has her back to us on the footrest because she's pouting--SHE wanted the shoulder spot.

Lone Star Purrs said...

Momma Becca here...

I hate to say this..but that's how Meeko acts towards Kiara, after 6 YEARS of being together. Some cats will only tolerate each other just barely. I had hoped that they would snuggle like some kitties do. Oh, well. Good luck!

Tybalt said...

I think it will just take patience. Lots and lots of patience. Mommy was worried about bringing me home to the girls, who were already big grown kitties. The twins HATED another kitty even LOOKING at their house from outside. But after awhile of hissing and spitting at me, they started to love me and now we are all very close. Maybe that will happen for you?

The Meezers said...

Hi TobysMom! Well, mommy had this issue with Trixie and Ralphie for a long time. Trixie would intimidate Ralphie when he was a baby, and no matter what she did, it didn't work. Then, finally, one day it just stopped. She had to feed them in different rooms (not only because of that, but because Ralphie could inhale an entire can of food in 38 seconds, she timed it). She would use the feeding time to snuggle and cuddle each of them seperately to let them know that no matter what she loved them. Also, maybe if your mom takes Lydia into the bedroom alone and closes the door and snuggles her she will feel better. She might try burritoing her up in a nice fleece blankie. That usually calms us down lots.

Come on over for a tent war party!!!

Mickey said...

I like what the Meezers said. Each kitty needs to know they are special.My sisfurs do not get along very well and they are littermates!

Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

Toby sounds like Grr! I had to place Lucy (the homeless kitty we found and had for a few weeks) with a rescue group because of Grr. Grr would go into Lucy's room, eat her food, use her litterbox, then perch just above her and try to poke at her. Lucy was too scared of Grr to come out, but when Grr started toward her, Lucy wouldn't back down (she was a street kitty and defended her territory). This resulted in several loud fur-flying all-out fights. I could tell that those two were just not going to be friends ever.

With the kittens, Grr didn't seem to think they were any threat to her when they were tiny, so she ignored them. Once they started socializing with the big cats, Grr even cuddled with them for short periods of time (only if she was sleepy). Now that the kittens are bouncing everywhere and flying off the furniture, we're starting to have a problem. Grr likes things quiet and she doesn't like to be bothered. But, if she decides to play, she goes all out. In the past couple days, she'll see the kittens running around like crazy, then she gets into stalking/pouncing mode. She's been chasing them down and tackling them, and not in a very playful way. There have been lots of kitten screams and puffy tails recently. I think Grr's feeling neglected and stressed. The past couple nights, we've put her in Kelly's room with the door closed. Grr is very happy with that - all she wants is to be with Kelly anyway (the Blonde Girl). I told Kelly to try to get Grr to chase some non-living toys today. Maybe that will let out some of her stress and she'll leave the kittens alone. I definitely think that special time apart is a good thing for both of them. And time. Lots of time.

(Also, I think in my case there might be an improvement after I get those kittens fixed. I hope so anyway.)

Cat Naps in Italy said...

Hey guys!
We need your home address so we can get your raffle prize sent off to you. Could you email it to us at

Opus and Roscoe

Big Piney Woods Cats said...

Yup, lots of patience. Patches still intimidates Mittens, after 7 years. She tried it with Precious, but it didn't work. They are all different, MIttens is very timid, PRecious is very outgoing. I just accept the fact, and if Patches gets on Mittens case, I usually tell her that is enough. Mittens likes to cry wolf, she knows I will come running.

CalicoMom Toni

Cat Naps in Italy said...

Nice to meet you guys! Thanks for the email.

Maybe Toby just needs a little vacation. To Italy, maybe?

Opus and Roscoe

The Meezers said...

Hey Lydia, thanks for having us over for tampon hockey last night! It was FUN!!!

Karen Jo said...

Lots of time seems the best solution to me. That and making sure that each kitty gets attention from you just for them alone.

Thank you so much for your kind words about my sister-in-law. They helped me tremendously.

Mickey said...

So,how are things going?Are the cats settling down? I sure hope so. Hugs to both of them :)
Purrs Mickey